Moth-Eaten But Not Beaten

I promised I wouldn’t shy away from the rougher bits of this cancer situation, and so I’m not. I know that I wanted to see what I had in store at the start of the diagnosis, so I’m hoping these pictures will help others feel more informed than I did.

But please be gentle with this one, because I’m feeling very vulnerable about posting these pictures.

Here’s what it looks like when your hair has started to fall out, but you’re not fully ‘there’ yet. It’s coming out in patches, so I’m dealing with the ‘well-loved, decades-old teddy aesthetic’. Somehow this is more unsettling for me than the prospect of being fully hairless. Get on with it, hair! Know when you’re not wanted and bugger off.

So far, I’ve found that my hats and headscarves are helping me feel more confident, as has doing fierce daily makeup. On a similar note, I’m on the lookout for silky, cheap headscarves, so if anyone knows of a good source please get in touch.

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12 thoughts on “Moth-Eaten But Not Beaten

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  1. I know that this must be the worst feeling as it will feel like you are losing your “crowning glory” which every woman rejoices in and is a privilege that few even think about on a day to day basis. But you know that once you have beaten this, it will come back – right!! Cling onto that thought at this present moment in what must seem to be a war zone of your life at this time – and know that at the end you will be able to think back and proudly declare yourself to be – a warrior, a fighterm and more importantly – a survivor xx

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  2. This is why I cut off 8 inches of my hair and then shaved it bald. I had the choice to do so. People on chemo do not. £300 raised and hair donated to make a wig for the little princess trust.

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  3. 💜 You are stronger than you think you are 💜

    Zara scarves are really soft and not too pricey! They are pleated and they sit really nice 😊

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  4. Your feelins are vaid, but as Carole Steele said, it’s a temporary rough effect of this cancer, and once you beat it, you’ll regain. Concentrate on getting there, each moment at a time. You are a fighter, and you’ll be a survivor, and you are so courageous in sharing every step of the way, your struggles, your empowering moments, your frailties and coming back. Hugs & love my friend

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  5. I will just add that you should proud of yourself for putting theses pictures up ….stay strong and tell yourself it’s temporary keep posting..take care …

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  6. Keep at it hunny! You’re doing amazingly ♥️ My Nan has a brain tumour when she was your age and went bald from the chemo. After going at the age of 88 she left me a huge collection of beautiful silk scarves that she taught me how to do cool tricks with! I’d be happy to donate some to you, knowing that something my Nan left me is going to a good cause. Hair means a great deal to women, I understand that more than ever now from alopecia. Just think when your hair grows back it can change colour/texture/curlyness so it’s a great surprise waiting for you ♥️ Barney always talked so highly of you and now I can understand why, you’re so strong and by doing this you’re leaving a huge impression on peoples lives and helping people who are going through the same things as you. You should be so proud of yourself, I definitely am.

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  7. Your honesty is amazing. Don’t know if you know but post chemo hair can
    often grow back different. It will grow back but could be curly if it was straight, straight if it was curly or it could change colour. You might wind up as a curly Ginger 😉 mine grew back the same but a bit thicker and it happens quick too. Rock some scarves and know your blog is brilliant and you are helping other folks by demystifying your HL journey. Stay strong

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  8. To be honest, I think the feelings you have are most important but the aesthetic especially as you describe it is fine; there is a worn-and-lived patina the pretentiousness of the words belying the actual truth in it. And anyway, it just looks quirky-vulnerable-warrior genderqueer-peace-deity in a new way. And/or Riot Grrl surely had patchiness from scars.

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