Navigating Other People: A Rant

What I am getting my knickers in a twist about that I am constantly wracked with a festering combination of guilt, frustration and resentment about the level of work I have to put in to helping others navigate my current situation. The seemingly endless placating and stroking of bruised feelings. How much of my currently very limited energy, emotion and willpower I'm expending on this shitty game of 4D top trumps that I'd rather be putting into oh, I don't know, literally anything else right now. 

Moth-Eaten But Not Beaten

I promised I wouldn't shy away from the rougher bits of this cancer situation, and so I'm not. I know that I wanted to see what I had in store at the start of the diagnosis, so I'm hoping this will help others.  But please be gentle with this one, because I'm feeling very vulnerable about posting these pictures.

Neutropenic Sepsis: Definitely ‘Not Great Fun’

I've not updated, or at least not properly, since I was admitted to hospital on Sunday with neutropenic sepsis. I've been taking my time processing the whole experience. It made the whole situation feel very real, and is actually the first time it hit home that I might actually die from all of this.

Feeling Lucky In Life – Yes, Really

It's one in the morning, and as I sit here during my second night as an emergency in-patient at my local hospital, I'm smiling. No, they haven't given me some of the strong, 'fun' meds. I'm grinning simply because I'm feeling so incredibly lucky. 

Rolling With The Lows

Today I broke down. I continue to sob as I write this. Sometimes I feel like my mind is renting a small square footage of my body. It has become communal property. Some of the tenants are part of a cooperative to keep it in good condition. Some are saboteurs. But everyone has a say. I want my body back.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑