Remember a good while ago when I blogged about my experience of being filmed for Macmillan? Well... Here it is in all of its glory, with guest appearances from Woody the dog and my ears (thanks for those genetics, Dad!). Enjoy - is that the right word? https://twitter.com/macmillancancer/status/1083412031154388992
Ever fancied a litmus test for your friendships? Then may I recommend a cancer diagnosis. You'll be surprised, I guarantee it.
Hopefully a relatively short update today just to bring everyone up to speed and to get back into the swing of things. Hah, yeah right.
It might seem like a small victory, but I'm learning that small victories are immensely powerful and transformative when you're facing a long-term battle. Bite-sized wins to perk you up and push you on, whereas the 'big picture' right now can simply feel too overwhelming to deal with
What I am getting my knickers in a twist about that I am constantly wracked with a festering combination of guilt, frustration and resentment about the level of work I have to put in to helping others navigate my current situation. The seemingly endless placating and stroking of bruised feelings. How much of my currently very limited energy, emotion and willpower I'm expending on this shitty game of 4D top trumps that I'd rather be putting into oh, I don't know, literally anything else right now.
It's one in the morning, and as I sit here during my second night as an emergency in-patient at my local hospital, I'm smiling. No, they haven't given me some of the strong, 'fun' meds. I'm grinning simply because I'm feeling so incredibly lucky.
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