Perfect flavours to combat that awful chemo mouth which chemotherapy causes. If you fancy giving it a go you can find the recipe here.
Hopefully a relatively short update today just to bring everyone up to speed and to get back into the swing of things. Hah, yeah right.
UPDATE: Sadly it seems it’s not as clear cut as we thought. In the last blog post I bemoaned the feelings of scanxiety around my first check up PET-CT scan since my chemotherapy began. Well, I'm not worried anymore. We have the results.
This morning I’m attempting to learn how to give myself my daily G-CSF injections (under the careful tutorage of Dr Tracie Miles, sharps extraordinaire). As someone with a phobia of needles, even looking at the damn thing is making me wobbly! But it’s way worse for the orange...
What I am getting my knickers in a twist about that I am constantly wracked with a festering combination of guilt, frustration and resentment about the level of work I have to put in to helping others navigate my current situation. The seemingly endless placating and stroking of bruised feelings. How much of my currently very limited energy, emotion and willpower I'm expending on this shitty game of 4D top trumps that I'd rather be putting into oh, I don't know, literally anything else right now.
Yesterday was quite an exciting (and very tiring!) day, because I had the pleasure of being filmed for a Macmillan advert - fancy or what?!
I promised I wouldn't shy away from the rougher bits of this cancer situation, and so I'm not. I know that I wanted to see what I had in store at the start of the diagnosis, so I'm hoping this will help others. But please be gentle with this one, because I'm feeling very vulnerable about posting these pictures.
I've not updated, or at least not properly, since I was admitted to hospital on Sunday with neutropenic sepsis. I've been taking my time processing the whole experience. It made the whole situation feel very real, and is actually the first time it hit home that I might actually die from all of this.